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The Power of Ignoring Outside Opinions and Embracing Failure

Gary Vaynerchuk, commonly known as Gary Vee, is an American businessman, author, speaker, and internet personality. He is a co-founder of the restaurant reservation software company Resy and Empathy Wines. First known as a wine critic who expanded his family's wine business, Vaynerchuk is now more known for his work in digital marketing and social media as the chairman of New York–based communications company VaynerX, and as CEO of VaynerX subsidiary VaynerMedia.

In a world where the fear of judgment and failure often paralyzes us, Gary Vaynerchuk, a renowned entrepreneur and motivational speaker, offers a fresh perspective. In his talk, he delves into the psychology of self-doubt, the impact of external opinions, and the transformative power of embracing failure. This article aims to dissect his arguments, offering actionable insights for those looking to break free from the shackles of societal expectations.

Key Takeaways

  1. Self-Doubt is External: Contrary to popular belief, self-doubt is not a self-inflicted wound but rather an external implant.
  2. Embrace Failure: Failure is not a setback but a stepping stone to understanding your capabilities.
  3. Ignore the Noise: The opinions of others, whether positive or negative, should not dictate your actions or self-worth.
  4. Question Societal Norms: Many societal expectations, like having your life figured out by a certain age, are arbitrary and can be detrimental.
  5. You’re in Control: Ultimately, you have the power to filter what influences you and to take action based on your own convictions.

The Origin of Self-Doubt

Gary Vaynerchuk posits that self-doubt is not an innate characteristic but rather a byproduct of external influences. “Nobody’s voice hates them in the beginning,” he states. This is a profound observation that challenges the conventional wisdom surrounding self-doubt. It’s not you who’s doubting yourself; it’s the voices of others that you’ve internalized over time. Recognizing this can be the first step in a transformative journey toward self-assurance.

The Duality of Failure

Gary’s perspective on failure is equally enlightening. He argues that failure is not something to be avoided but rather embraced. “When I fail, I’m excited because it meant that I deserved to fail,” he says. This mindset is a radical departure from the fear-based approach that many of us adopt. Failure, in this view, is not an end but a beginning—a learning opportunity that brings you closer to understanding your true capabilities.

The Noise Around Us

One of the most compelling points Gary makes is about the “noise” of other people’s opinions. He emphasizes that he neither hears the applause nor the criticism. This emotional equanimity comes from a deep-rooted belief in his own journey. “I have no interest in getting high on my own supply,” he notes. This level of self-assurance is what allows him to navigate the world without being swayed by external judgments.

Questioning Societal Norms

Gary also takes aim at societal norms that impose arbitrary timelines and expectations on individuals. “How are you supposed to have your whole life figured out at 28 years old?” he asks rhetorically. This question exposes the fallacy of societal pressures that contribute to the pervasive anxiety many people feel. By questioning these norms, we can liberate ourselves from unnecessary stress and focus on our own paths.

The Power of Control

Perhaps the most empowering takeaway is the idea that you are in control of your life. “Everything is solvable,” Gary states, emphasizing that you have the power to change your narrative. Whether it’s combating self-doubt or embracing failure, the choice ultimately lies with you. This sense of agency is what can propel you forward, allowing you to live life on your own terms.


Gary Vaynerchuk’s insights offer a roadmap for those looking to break free from societal constraints and self-imposed limitations. By understanding that self-doubt is an external implant, embracing failure as a learning opportunity, ignoring the noise of public opinion, questioning societal norms, and recognizing your own agency, you can embark on a journey toward genuine self-fulfillment. The key lies in taking control and making choices that align with your own convictions, rather than succumbing to external pressures.

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